Tuesday, July 29, 2008

"Vacation--All I Ever Wanted"






Violet, Shawn, and I had our first family vacation last week. The Murphys were generous enough to let us stay at their adorable house on Fish Lake near the Michigan-Indiana border. Thanks, Murphys!!! An added perk is that Fish Lake is about 6 minutes away from Shawn's parent's house so Violet go to spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa Pierce as well as her aunts, uncle, and 3 cousins. Not that she let any of them get too close, mind you, she is still very weary of anyone she deems to be a stranger. Grandma Pierce is usually a baby-pro, but Vi would barely let poor Trish touch her without screaming. Sheesh!


Having been on the receiving end of that kind of treatment from friend's babies in the past, I know it becomes almost insulting! Prior to having Violet, I thought kids were kind of like dogs in the way they could sense whether or not you were a good person. So when a baby wailed when passed to me, I worried that everyone else in the room thought she was some sort of divining rod, exposing me for the true, rotten person I was. Maybe the baby could see dark parts of me that I didn't even know existed.





Now I'm realizing that while babies are like dogs in many ways--the drooling, the howling, their disregard for personal property--they can't sense anything deeper about a person's character than "You are my mom; you are OK," or "You are not my mom; GET YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF OF ME!!!" At least, that's the extent of Baby Violet's perception.





Violet did seem to realize that vacations are a good time for napping, however, as she swung her way to a 3+ hour snooze almost everyday we were there. Papasan swing is the baby product of the year for the Pierce family!





Friday, July 18, 2008

Word Up, Cuz!



There's a new Schroeder in town! Charles Andrew--Charlie-- was born on Monday, July 14, 2008! We couldn't wait any longer so we packed up 9 week old Violet to go get a look at a real newborn. We were not disappointed--he's a doll! Very much his own boy, different from brother Jack and cousin Violet. Congratulations, to Mommy and Daddy on another gorgeous son!

We got the three sweeties together for a what might have been the cutest photo shoot ever. I dare you not to say, "Awwww!"



We also got to visit briefly with Aunt Bridget while we were in Evansville. We'll be seeing more of her next week when we take our first family vacation to Fish Lake which is just a couple miles down the road from Wolcottville, Shawn's hometown. We can't wait! In other news, Violet had her 2 month doctor's visit today and she's growing like a breastfed weed! Yippee!! She's 10.3 lbs, 22 inches! And thanks to everyone for the advice on vaccines and good pediatricians in the area. We found two we really liked and in the end, geography won out and we chose Dr. Gollnick in Fishers. She is awesome and is pretty well in line with Shawn and my radical views on parenting! As far as the immunizations go, we decided to take them slow, getting Vi vaccinated according to Dr. Sears' alternative schedule. "Dr. Bob" as he's known in the pediatric world, recommends parents who are unsure about vaccine safety but still want their kids protected proceed with immunizations slowly, two shots at a time, until kids are fully vaccinated. It makes for more doctor's visits but hopefully lessens any risks, real or perceived, by reducing the number of vaccines at one time and delaying some that aren't as crucial early on. I feel comfortable with this choice and Violet was a trooper today. She had an oral vaccine for rotovirus that she thought was grody and a shot that she handled with the composure of an infant twice her age! What a gem!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

One Woman Baby





After two quick months together, Violet has decided she wants to be in a monogamous relationship with me. Seeing other people just isn't all it's cracked up to be and this is one baby who wants nothing to do with anyone but her mother. Her Daddy, her Grammy, a perfect stranger, it matters not; Violet's reaction when I hand her over is the same. It's a scream.




I thought babies didn't get clingy until they were older. Hell, until just a couple weeks ago I don't even think her vision was good enough to see who was holding her. But she certainly can distinguish differences now. She's so cute, everyone wants to hold her. So I tentatively hand her over with a warning and then apologize when she shrieks 30-45 seconds later. And it isn't that I wouldn't love it if she'd go to other people, especially Shawn. Showering, cooking, exercising, these are things that I have to squeeze in during her unpredictable naps during this last week. I read on the Dr. Sears site, http://www.askdrsears.com/, that putting a baby in a sling and wearing them for at least 3 hours a day is one of the most surefire ways to decrease crying and soothe a fussy baby. So we're giving it a whirl. Shawn is even taken a turn wearing it. It may help him when we're at home but I'll probably need one that's a bit more manly if I hope to get him to slingin' it in public. My sling is reversible but you can't totally hide the floral side.



In the meantime, Vi got to go to her very first Indianapolis Indians game on Thursday. She was her normal Mommy-lovin' self, but we all had a great time sitting in the lawn and enjoying a picnic on what was definitely one of the most beautiful nights of the summer. Pat joined the party as did Nate, Beth, and a very smiley baby Riley. What a cutie!!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Red, White, and Violet


Violet's very first 4th of July was not quite as festive as I would have liked. Although we did deck her out in her patriotic onesie, we didn't get to see any fireworks or go to any cookouts.

One of my old friends from Chatard, Matt, died unexpectedly (isn't it always unexpected when you're 30?), so we went to the viewing in the afternoon and then got together at the Craft's afterward. Violet did get to see her friend Ana, Buffy and Tim's 9 month old daughter.

I went to the funeral yesterday without Violet and couldn't help but feel terrible for Matt's mother. The priest talked about how children are a gift to us from God and He can call them back at any time. What a sad thought! I came home and snuggled Violet for the rest of the day. I just can't imagine the terrible pain a parent who loses a child must experience. I hope that is something I'll never know firsthand.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

S*M*I*L*E





This is what we've been working for the last 71/2 weeks. Well worth it!!
Mommy sticking her tongue out--Hilarious!!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Routine Schmoutine



For some reason, I had it in my head that 6 weeks would be some kind of a magic time, a time when I could start counting on Violet to have somewhat of a routine. I'd be able to schedule my days around her needs:
"Sure, I'd love to meet you for lunch, but we'll have to schedule it before the baby's afternoon nap. If she's not resting by two o'clock, forget it!"
Not quite the case just yet...Instead, I accept no invitations completely instead relying on a soft commitment--"We'll try...Don't count on us."
The only thing I know for certain is that she'll want to nurse when she wakes up; be that at 5 am or 9 am, I couldn't tell you. She often falls asleep while nursing, but not always. Sometimes she sleeps in the car; sometimes the car seat makes her scream. The swing seems to have a hypnotic effect on Violet lulling her into a deep, long nap--except when it doesn't. She nurses somewhere between 6 and 60 times a day at no set time for no set length. We've gone out to dinner and had her sleep soundly in her car seat from appetizers through dessert. Last night we each ate alone while the other walked Miss Thing through the parking lot outside of Puccini's.




So, when Shawn asks me--should we go to Lowe's now, or do you want to feed her first?" his guess is as good as mine. I guess since I spend all my time with Violet, it is a safe assumption that I somehow know best what to do for her. Not quite. I am hoping that time comes soon, though, but now I have to go give her her pacifier which she loves. Except when she hates it.




***The lovely pictures were taken by Shawn's friend and coworker Kevin Conners. He put up with a very crabby Violet during the photo shoot. Check out his work at
http://www.myspace.com/connersphotography1

Thursday, June 19, 2008

One Month Doctor Visit & 1st Fathers Day


Technically, Vi and I didn't make it in at 1 month; it was actually 5 weeks, not 4, when we sauntered in to the doctor to check on the babe's progress. Due to the stress and panic over Baby Violet's weight loss after her birth, I was eager to get an accurate measure of where she stands now.

Instead of taking the dear to a pediatrician, I opted to take her to my doctor, a family physician, since I already knew and liked her. I began to have reservations about the Doc when she told me that Violet's weight loss immediately following her birth (she dropped from 7 lbs 13 oz to 6 lbs 12 oz), while normal, was a little on the high side and warranted me supplementing Violet's diet of breast milk with a bottle or two of formula. Anyone who has read anything about breastfeeding or done it themselves would recognize this advice as being suspect. Especially in the early days of nursing, supplementing with formula is a quick way to jeopardize developing a healthy nursing relationship. Not only could giving a bottle cause the dreaded nipple confusion, but since breastfeeding is a supply and demand proposition, if the baby's demand for nourishment is being met at the bottle via formula instead of at the breast via human milk, Mom's not being stimulated to meet Baby's needs, and, "just that one bottle," will potentially turn into 2, 3, 4, and so on as Mom's body fails to be alerted that Baby's hungry!

I know it can be done (my friend Melanie nursed 3 of her 4 kids and started the early days with her son taking bottles as she had a horrific post-birth headache that lasted for days). I also know that nursing is not second nature as many of us believe it will be--it is natural, right?--and it takes the support of everyone around Mom and Baby, especially the Doctor. Duh. If the person you are trusting for medical advice is not encouraging you and is making you doubt yourself in those critical, frightening, first days, it is hard to tune that out. Fortunately for me, I had my own Mom, a former La Leche League leader (or the Big Boob, as we like to call her), my trusting husband, and my friend Amy's mom Terri, a lactation consultant, to teach me, encourage me, calm my fears and help little Violet become the all-star nurser she is today!

So when we got to Doc's office yesterday, I was thrilled to see VBP weighing in at 8 lbs, 12 oz, a gain of a full 2 lbs since her low at 5 days old. She was 21.5 inches, too, adding a full inch and a half to her height in just 28 days! Hooray! My totally breastfed baby is thriving-imagine that!

Then the raining began on the parade. Doc asks how feeding is going-"Great!" Am I pumping-"Everyday to build a supply for when I return to work." And then she suggests that I might want to start introducing formula "just once a week to get Violet used to it" in case my supply dwindles when I return to work in 7 weeks. HELLO??? Remember the little supply and demand relationship I talked about earlier? Yeah, that still applies. I told her we'll cross that bridge IF we come to it and left it at that. There are just so many things wrong with that suggestion, I hardly know where to start. First and foremost, it shows total disregard for my values. The doctor knows from our previous visits with Violet that nursing her is one of my priorities as her Mom. Second, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for the first year of life and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services states that "Babies are born to be breastfed." Instead of easing my transition into bottle feeding, my doctor should be giving me strategies to ensure that I continue to breastfeed for as long as possible. Like warning patients about the dangers of smoking or encouraging them to lose weight for optimal health, a doc needs to make sure patients understand not only the benefits of breastfeeding but make certain that they have the tools to actually do it! Now, I am more determined than ever to make it to 1 year nursing Violet!

I also wanted to talk about immunizations with the doctor as Vi would be on track to get a slew of them at her 2 month visit. You'd have to be living under a rock to have missed all the publicity about the possible link between childhood vaccines and autism. I have done some reading (not as much as I should have) about the topic and I fully expected the doctor to tell me that there is no proven link between the two, that vaccines save lives (they do), and that I should go along with the schedule proposed by the Center for Disease Control. So I wasn't surprised when she did (and cited numerous sources to back her including the American Academy of Pediatrics...where was their input during our breastfeeding conversation...?)What I didn't expect was the interesting logic she used to support her recommendations. When I asked about separating Vi's vaccines so that she could receive them over the course of several visits rather than 5 (FIVE!) in one day, the Doc told me they don't really like to do this. Not because it would leave a longer window for Violet to be exposed to one of these potentially deadly diseases like measles, but because the more often she comes in, the more we break from what is, in her words, the office "routine" for giving immunizations, the more likely it is that someone would screw up and give my baby the wrong thing. Inspires confidence, doesn't it?

I can feel it coming. I am becoming one of those moms I rolled my eyes at before I had Violet. I never questioned the one-size fits all approach to health care when it was just me, just my body being practiced on. But that just isn't good enough for her. I want beyond the best for Violet, like all mothers want for their kids. And apparently, in our case anyway, that may take being a little pushy and not worrying what everybody else thinks. Maybe even going against the medical establishment. And certainly, by nursing, going against the societal norm. So don't be surprised when you see Katie Couric talking to me on CBS Evening news at a "Nurse-In" at some airport to protest or marching on Washington with Jenny McCarthy. It can't be far off...

In the meantime, we enjoyed an extremely traditional, non-radical 1st Father's Day celebration for Shawn at Hollyhock Hill which is where the above pic was snapped.