Wednesday, March 23, 2011

5 Days, 4 Nights

At 6am Friday morning, I'll be taking off for L.A. and a long weekend with two of my best and oldest friends. I'll be travelling sans the other Pierces. I have very conflicted feelings about this.

On the one hand, I am clearly excited for this trip. It has been 5 years since the three of us took a trip together and I have no doubt I will laugh almost continuously. Also, we are going to Southern California, so it's going to be really nice. An overnight to Santa Barbara County and some wine tastings are also on the calendar. So, yeah, I'm not conflicted about the company I'll be keeping or the itinerary for the trip. It's who won't be there.

Violet will be 3 in two months. She is such a big kid these days in so many ways. But she is still a baby. She is enough of a baby that she doesn't understand when I tell her that this weekend, her Daddy will be the one putting her to bed. She still has no concept of time. A promise of a Popsicle after dinner, even when dinner is about over, can cause a major meltdown.

I really didn't set out to be an "attachment parent." I don't think either Shawn or I knew what that was when Violet was born. But the more we followed our instincts, the longer we nursed, the more we listened to Violet and ignored the experts, the more attached we got. And I wouldn't change anything about the parenting decisions we have made. Ok, maybe I wouldn't give her nutrient void rice cereal as her first food. But, on the whole, I think we're doing well for her and ourselves.

But being securely attached means that we haven't gone anywhere overnight as a couple without Violet. She's never had a night without one of her parents being with her. And our solo excursions have been pretty limited as well. Leading up to this weekend, I've been away from Violet 3 non-consecutive nights. I think Shawn's total is about the same. So four nights away, really far away, is a huge deal in my journey as a mom.

I think I am ready. I hope Violet is.