Wednesday, February 27, 2013
The Measure of a Year
Clearly, the line stuck and the baby was a keeper. And how incredibly grateful we are for that and for little Sullivan. Even after the first ultrasound just weeks after conception, the one where Shawn and I saw his little heartbeat for the very first time, I worried incessantly. Each time I went to the bathroom, I worried that there would be blood and that the pregnancy would end. I worried when I didn't show immediately. Until I felt those first movements in May, I worried daily. What an exhausting time that was.
And now, he is here. Our little "Mystery Baby," the boy who surprised us by being a boy, turned 16 weeks old yesterday. In those brief weeks, Sullivan has become such a part of the family. I guess when a baby is so wanted, their place in the clan is being held and it makes it that much easier for them to slide right in.
Violet is a natural sister, it is astounding that she has only been doing it for 4 months. The joy they take in each other is greater than anything I could have hoped for. He reserves his biggest, gummiest grins for Violet and her off-key song and dance routines she creates for him. And even on her crabbiest mornings, Sully can coax a softness out of Violet that is off-limits to me and Shawn. Their relationship is so pure, it just makes me melt. I know there will be whining and sibling squabbles in the future, but I am enjoying every moment of this magic they have together right now.
So the gift of Sullivan keeps on getting better. I am savoring motherhood this time around in a way that I couldn't with Violet. Laying in bed and nursing is never something I don't have the time for. So what if there have been stacks of laundry waiting to be put away for 6 days? I get to things when I get to them and don't feel too stressed about it in the meantime. And Shawn and I are right on the same page, in sync with parenthood and with each other. Eating dinner together as a family of four is the best part of the day. Shawn and I share a beer, take turns holding Sully, buttering Violet's bread, and clearing the dishes. Of course there are still less-than-perfect moments. The times when we react too sharply to a knocked over glass of juice or run out of patience when it comes to an argument over tooth-brushing, but mostly we are doing a good job appreciating what we have. That is the biggest gift that Sullivan brought with him.