Thursday, May 22, 2008

It Takes a Village

Or, if not a village, at least 3 people, to take care of a newborn baby. Shawn went back to work on Monday and my Mom started pulling 9 hour shifts at my house so I wouldn't be alone with Violet. What would I do without my Mom??? Don't get me wrong, I am totally appreciative of what Shawn does too, but he is 1/2 responsible for creating little Violet so I feel he has a bit more of an obligation to care for her. He and I are 50/50 partners in this deal; we agreed on that when we got married.

Mom, on the other hand, doesn't have to be here. But she has been, everyday, doing everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, except for nursing Violet. She does laundry, she changes diapers, she soothes the babe when she's fussy, she feeds the dog, she does the dishes, she pretty much makes sure that the rest of my household still runs as usual despite the fact that I spend about 75% of my day sitting in a rocking chair trying to coax a baby to nurse.

So, when I woke up this morning, and left the baby sleeping next to her Daddy, I wrapped a robe around myself, went and started a pot of coffee and realized with amazement, that, thank God, I am a lot like my Mom. (I think it was the robe and coffee that got me thinking about our similarities, as these are and long have been standard elements of Mom's mornings.) There were years in the past when I prayed that I would never turn into my Mom. Thank God for unanswered prayers, like Garth said.

So many things that make up who I am would be missing without Mom's influence. I, like she, would do anything for my baby. I'm opinionated like Mom and hopefully will grow to be as generous as she is. We can talk for hours and laugh together like hyenas. Our physical similarities are often commented on by strangers and what a beautiful template I got! Having recently lost both my Dad and my Granny, I realize now how substantial my relationship with my Mom is to me. Both Violet and I would be lost without her.

Thanks to Mom, I actually have taken and uploaded some pictures from Days 5-9. For more, check out the link to Flickr:


Aly said...

What a fantastic picture of your mom and Vi! Being a grammy certainly agrees with her!

I know what you mean about treasuring your mom after you've had a child. Pegg stayed with us for a week after Jackson arrived and it was the best gift she could have given us. There have been many milestones that have bonded the two of us... but nothing like having her there at such an important time in my life. There is something really precious about sharing the mother/daughter connection after having a child of your own.

Thank goodness Babs moved back to Indiana! Baby Violet certainly beats hurricane season!

Babs said...

Oh wow honey. Thank you!

When I was learning to be a Mommy, I remember reading about women in other cultures who, when they gave birth to a new one, would have a "doula" assigned to them. The doula's responsibility was to make it possible for the mother to care only for herself and the newborn. This was the culture's way of promoting itself, by making it possible for the baby and mother to devote all the time necessary to their growth and health.
In those days when I lived far from my family, I yearned for that kind of support, and I sought it in mothering support groups such as La Leche League. I got much support, indeed, but still I was always exhausted. I don't want my granddaughter's Mom (or her Daddy) to be so tired that they're not at their best, because that's what Violet deserves. So, in a way, I'm giving you a gift I always yearned for, and I'm so happy to hear that it's one that's useful for the Pierces.
I love you!

Aubs said...

OK, I have to stop reading your blog or I may just sit here and weep all day.

Your mother looks amazing! As do you. You are the only person I know who looks great right after giving birth.

Always thinking of you!